Wrestling with Life’s Challenges: The Journey to Genuine Strength

Epictetus, a Stoic philosopher, once remarked, “Difficulty shows what men are. So when a challenge arises, remember that God, like a trainer of wrestlers, has pitted you against a tough young man. Why? So you may become an Olympic champion; but this is not achieved without effort” (Epictetus, The Discourses). Although these words were spoken centuries ago, they still carry a timeless wisdom that resonates with people today. The struggles we encounter—whether it’s losing a job, facing illness, or mourning the loss of a loved one—aren’t so different from those faced in ancient times. Yet, it’s in these very struggles that our true character is unveiled and our strength is built.

The Essence of Struggle

In the vast arena of life, we’re all wrestlers grappling with forces beyond our control. Epictetus, with the insight of an experienced philosopher, recognized that difficulty isn’t a curse but rather a crucible. It’s through hardship that we truly discover what we’re made of. The Stoics believed that every challenge, every obstacle, is an opportunity—a chance to grow stronger, wiser, and more resilient.

Epictetus once said, “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” As someone who has dedicated a significant part of my life to martial arts, including now practicing Krav Maga, I can attest to the profound truth in these words. Martial arts training has taught me that in the face of adversity, whether it be physical or mental, our reactions and mindset play a crucial role in determining the outcome. The discipline, resilience, and adaptability cultivated through martial arts have allowed me to face challenges with a calm and rational approach, enabling me to effectively navigate through difficult situations both on and off the training mat. Many times when I stepped onto the mat, I faced opponents who were faster, stronger, and more experienced than I was. Sparring with these more formidable fighters was daunting, and often I felt out of my depth. But I quickly realized that these tough matches weren’t setbacks—they were opportunities. Each time I faced a stronger opponent, I was pushed beyond my limits, forced to dig deeper and find strength I didn’t know I had. With each round, I became a better fighter, more skilled, and more resilient.

This experience mirrors the challenges we encounter in life. Just as I sparred with stronger fighters, life presents us with difficulties that seem overwhelming at first. Losing a job can feel like a devastating blow, stripping us of our identity and purpose. Illness can strike at the core of our being, leaving us feeling vulnerable and afraid. The death of a loved one can shatter our world, leaving a void that seems impossible to fill. But in these moments, when we’re brought to our knees, we must remember Epictetus’s wisdom. These struggles aren’t punishments; they’re training grounds. Whether you believe in God, fate, or the universe, some force has placed these challenges before you, not to break you, but to make you stronger.

Embracing the Struggle

The Stoics taught that we must embrace the struggles life throws our way, not shy away from them. It’s easy to become discouraged when faced with adversity. It’s natural to want to give up, to take the path of least resistance. But the road to true strength isn’t easy. It requires perseverance, determination, and a willingness to endure hardship. Just as wrestlers must train tirelessly, enduring pain and exhaustion, we must confront our struggles head-on.

In Krav Maga, sparring with a stronger opponent is never comfortable, but it’s necessary. Each time I sparred with someone who could overpower me, I had a choice: I could either shy away from the challenge or confront it directly. By choosing the latter, I not only sharpened my skills but also built the mental toughness needed to endure and overcome. I learned to anticipate my opponent’s moves, to remain calm under pressure, and to find ways to turn my weaknesses into strengths. These lessons extended far beyond the mat, helping me to approach life’s challenges with the same mindset.

Consider the person who loses his job. He might be tempted to wallow in self-pity, to see himself as a victim of circumstance. But if he embraces the struggle, he can transform his misfortune into an opportunity. He can use this time to learn new skills, to pursue passions he never had time for before, to rebuild his life in a more fulfilling and meaningful way. In the process, he discovers a strength within himself that he never knew existed.

Or think of the person battling a serious illness. He might feel as though his body has betrayed him, as though life has dealt him an unfair hand. But if he embraces the struggle, he can uncover within himself a resilience that is truly remarkable. He can focus on what he can control—his attitude, his treatment plan, his support network—and in doing so, he can become a source of inspiration to others.

The Role of Fate and Providence

The Stoics believed in the concept of “Amor Fati“—the love of fate. This idea suggests that we should not only accept the challenges life presents but embrace them with open arms. We can’t control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond. By embracing our fate and by loving the challenges that come our way, we transform them from obstacles into opportunities for growth.

This perspective is particularly important when dealing with the death of a loved one. The pain of such a loss can be overwhelming, but the Stoics would remind us that death is a natural part of life. It’s something we all must face, and how we face it reveals our character. Instead of being consumed by grief, we can choose to honor our loved one by living our lives in a way that would make them proud. We can find strength in our memories, in the love we shared, and in the knowledge that we will carry their spirit with us always.

In any contact martial art, just as in life, there’s no victory without struggle. Each time I faced a better fighter, I had to learn to adapt, to find new ways to survive and eventually thrive. The struggle wasn’t just physical; it was mental and emotional as well. But each time I overcame a tough opponent, I became a little stronger, a little wiser, a little more resilient. And so it is with life’s challenges. They’re not obstacles to be feared, but opportunities to be embraced, for they are the very things that shape us into who we are meant to be.

Building Resilience Through Stoic Practices

To persevere through hardship, the Stoics practiced several techniques that are just as relevant today as they were in ancient times. One such practice is the “premeditation of evils” or “premeditatio malorum.” This involves contemplating potential challenges or losses before they happen, not as a way of dwelling on the negative, but as a means of preparing the mind. By considering how we would handle losing a job, falling ill, or losing a loved one, we become mentally fortified, ready to face these hardships with courage and grace.

Another key practice is the discipline of focusing on what’s within our control. The Stoics understood that much of what happens in life is beyond our influence. We can’t control the actions of others, the outcome of events, or even our own health to some extent. What we can control, however, is our attitude, our reactions, and our choices. By concentrating on these aspects, we reclaim our power, no longer feeling like victims of fate but as active participants in our own lives.

Finally, the Stoics valued the importance of community and support. They understood that while we must wrestle with our own challenges, we’re not alone in the arena. We’re surrounded by fellow wrestlers, each fighting their own battles. By offering and accepting help, by sharing our experiences and learning from others, we build a community of strength and resilience. Together, we’re stronger than we could ever be alone.

Conclusion

Epictetus’s words remind us that difficulty isn’t something to be feared, but something to be embraced. The challenges we face aren’t meant to defeat us, but to strengthen us. Whether we’re grappling with the loss of a job, illness, or the death of a loved one, we must remember that these struggles are opportunities to grow, to become the best version of ourselves. Like wrestlers in the arena, we may be bruised and battered, but with each challenge, we become stronger, more resilient, more capable of facing whatever life throws our way.

As I’ve learned in Krav Maga, facing stronger opponents has made me a better fighter, not just on the mat, but in life. The lessons of perseverance, resilience, and embracing struggle have helped me navigate life’s challenges with courage and grace. Let us hold fast to the Stoic wisdom of embracing our fate, focusing on what we can control, and drawing strength from our community. In doing so, we transform difficulty from a foe into an ally, a partner in our journey toward true strength and wisdom.